Lies the Rich Say When Kids Embarrass the Family

When information technology comes to difficult jobs, "parent" is almost certainly one of the hardest. Later on all, you lot're expected to somehow feed and clothe an essentially helpless human until they are at least xviii years old, all while preparing them for life every bit a productive fellow member of order and supporting them emotionally and psychologically along the way.

At the same time, y'all're going to be exhausted and busier than you ever believed possible, considering yous still accept a chore and your own personal life to worry about. And so, is it whatever wonder that instead of telling your children the absolute truth near everything all the fourth dimension, y'all sometimes fudge the truth? You create an inventive fiction to fill the gap in reality or merely considering your children will believe anything, and that's pretty funny. Today, we're hearing from 25 Redditors about lies told in childhood that they simply really figured out when they grew up.

The Magical Music Truck

Just thought of another ane. When I was really young, during the summer a detail truck would come around town playing music. My mom told me it was merely a music truck that went around to make kids happy over the summer. With no reason to hunt after it, I had no thought that at that place were pictures of ice cream on the side. 1 day I was at my neighbour'southward house when the "music truck" came by, and my neighbor gave my friend and I a dollar and told us to go get ice foam. I was confused, but I followed my friend… and found out the truth.

I ran dwelling house and told my Mom, but I didn't actually confront her considering I didn't realize she had lied. I just idea she was uninformed. Occasionally, she'll tease me with my famous line, "YOU'RE Non GONNA BELIEVE THIS! THE MUSIC TRUCK SELLS Water ice CREAM!"

This wasn't and then bad for me, merely it traumatized my sometimes ditzy younger sister, kind of along the lines of Santa, Tooth Fairy, etc. When my cousins and I were younger, we e'er looked forward to visiting our grandparents for the inevitable sugar blitz. The all-time function without a doubt though was the "Lollipop Tree." We would run out and get to pluck a half dozen or so lollipops each that we eventually realized were just taped onto the low-hanging branches of the but tree in his backyard. Once my Grandma passed abroad, my Grandad moved into a condo, and the tree was left behind.

Skip forward about 8 years, the first generation of grandkids are visiting, and my Grandad goes about his usual habit and starts taping lollipops to the tree in the chiliad of our house. My sister sees this and only about cries, yelling "Y'all MEAN You MADE THE LOLLIPOP TREE?!?" She was 16. I couldn't terminate laughing for twenty minutes.

She Used Them for Comprehend

Growing up, my Mom insisted that we had to await for the second band of the telephone before nosotros answered it; otherwise, information technology would mess up the phone call. She would go angry to the indicate of shouting if nosotros picked it up on the first band. I didn't heed her insistence when she wasn't dwelling, and sometimes when I picked it up on the beginning band, there wouldn't be anyone at that place, and so I thought mayhap at that place was some truth to it.

I figured out 12 years later that she was having an affair, and when the guy wanted her to call him, he would call our firm, let it ring in one case, and hang up, so she could telephone call him back discreetly. She'south still with the guy (my parents are divorced) and he still does this TO THIS Day. Old habits die hard.

Optics Where They Shouldn't Exist

My female parent told me when I was well-nigh 4 that she had eyes in the back of her head, and that all mothers had them. I can recall sneaking into her room when she was sleeping and trying to brush her hair back to find them.

The Most Frightening Talk in History

During "the talk," my parents told me that the reason guys use condoms is that there is acid inside every female person that burns off the penis… I believed this for years.

The Gizzard Was Gone!

When I was growing up and didn't desire to swallow something, my grandfather would say, "Consume information technology… it'south good for your gizzard." I'd call up to myself, "Well, I don't desire my gizzard to go bad…" and but start downing whatever was on my plate.

Fast frontward to 7th class science class when we're learning well-nigh the human body. I asked the teacher in front of thirty classmates, "Where's the gizzard??!". The but matter that makes classmates laugh that hard is when a teacher tells them it's okay by laughing to the point of tears with them. I learned a lot that day… near science… virtually non trusting adults… about shame.

The Whitest of Lies

I took breakdancing lessons when I was viii, and I was horrible. The class was supposed to have a dance recital to testify of all our "moves." Well, suddenly, I no longer was going to class every Tuesday. My parents told me the classes had ended. Full prevarication. I was and then bad that the teacher did not desire me to ever come back. I found this out xx years later by accident when my mom said, "Remember when you got kicked out of the breakdancing school that we paid for?"

It'due south Not as Illegal as He Thought

When I was a kid, I liked turning on the ceiling roof light in the car when it was nighttime and my mom was driving. Whenever I did, she would say, "That'south illegal! If you do that, I'll get caught past the police force, and they'll take me abroad!" I never turned on the lite again. Then ane day when I was a teenager, my friend turned on the calorie-free in the car. Needless to say, I made myself await like a fool in front of my friends.

The Family unit's Darkest Underground

My grandmother told both her kids (my mom and aunt) that my aunt's father passed away in a car accident and that they were only half-sisters. She told them this when they were in high school, and seriously, they looked nothing alike. So, everyone thought this was true for decades. When I was doing some genealogy inquiry, I found out that my aunt's dad was caught breaking and entering, and things took a turn for the worse. I asked my grandmother why she didn't tell anyone this, and she said it was as well unseemly to talk almost. The merely person left who knows the family unit cloak-and-dagger is me.

A Taste for Nothing Sweet

My unabridged childhood I was told that I didn't like candy and that I didn't like soda. They must have started information technology very early considering I never really questioned it until I got older. I at present enjoy candy only very rarely eat it, I suspect because I never actually miss it. I still remember eating a processed bar that had peanut butter in it when I was young, and before I could actually taste anything just the peanut butter, my mom told me I didn't similar information technology, and I instantly spit information technology out. To this day, I can't stand the taste of peanut butter or anything chocolate with nuts in information technology. I still never drinkable soda.

A Mistaken Avocado

When I was like eight years former my mom got sushi for dinner once. I asked her what the green stuff was, and she told me it was avocado, and she loved it, then I ate a spoonful. Worst feel of my childhood. I didn't eat avocados for ten years after that because I thought I hated them. She tells me that she really did think it was avocado.

Just Like David Carradine

This is the first time I've always told anyone or talked virtually it outside of the family (who are all Mormon, as well as my dad). My mom e'er told me that my dad passed away in a machine accident a few months before I was born. I call up one day when I was well-nigh 10 or xi, she pulled me into her room and said that it wasn't a car accident. Instead, my dad went missing for a few days, and someone finally institute him — in an isolated boondocks in a far away state.

For the Sake of the Children

I thought my mom was religious. We weren't devout Christians, merely she fabricated frequent, coincidental references to God ("Go play outside. God gave us a beautiful day today."). We occasionally attended church with extended family unit, and she sent me to Bible school when I was about eight.

I became an atheist in high schoolhouse and nervously mentioned it to her one day, expecting the worst. She told me that she was an atheist too, as were almost of our relatives. I asked her why she sent me to Bible school, and she said that she wanted to testify me religion and let me make up my own mind about information technology.

Basically, all my close relatives were treating faith the exact aforementioned manner as Santa Claus — everyone pretended to believe in it for the sake of the kids, only they just expected us to grow out of information technology on our ain when nosotros got older.

Dad and Atmospheric Control

My father trolled me for years with this one: When I was young, I would take baths in the evening. There were a number of bath toys, including empty shampoo bottles that I would play with. 1 twenty-four hours I went to fill up up the tub and plant that one of the bottles was filled with water ice common cold water! A week passed, and I idea nothing of it until 1 was filled with really HOT water! Things got progressively weirder every bit the water I left behind in the bottles would change colors, temperatures, and flavors. My dad fed me some nonsense most how scientific discipline does weird things, depending on the atmospheric pressures. I believed him until I caught him dropping in food dye ane twenty-four hour period.

The Fish Eggs That Never Were

My fiancée's parents convinced him that tapioca is fish eggs, similar the things that baby fish come from. I brought him to a tea store and ordered bubbles in my tea, and he leans over all nervous and says, "I don't want whatever. I call up those are fish eggs." I tried not to express mirth trying to explain to him what tapioca is. And so, when we got dwelling house, I googled tapioca and showed him the wiki article about what information technology is made of. His response: "Well, anyone can post on Wikipedia!" So, he yet didn't believe me.

Fast forward to a twelvemonth afterwards, I bring information technology upwards in forepart of his mom, and she laughs and pulls out a box of tapioca pudding. She rolls her eyes and says that at holiday meals they call tapioca fish eggs because of the texture. He still doesn't believe it's not fish eggs. Despite what I and his mom told him.

The Chinese Nutrient Y'all Wouldn't Eat if Yous But Knew

My very traditional Chinese grandmother used to cook all these crazy Asian foods and force us to eat them, even though they tasted horrible considering they were "proficient for u.s.a.." One recurring dish was cordyceps. My mom told me they were plant roots, like carrots. Years later I read an commodity which revealed that cordyceps are really parasitic fungi which invade the bodies of insects, gradually replacing the host tissue until the bugs are entirely fabricated of fungi. HORROR.

The Clearest Kool-Assist in History

Well, my dad's family was quite poor growing up, and in an effort to relieve money, my grandma would put food coloring in their h2o and tell them it was Kool-Assistance. Apparently, it worked quite well as they all had their favorite flavors and such. They merely institute out when they went to their cousins and had existent Kool-Aid. They complained about information technology being way also sugary, and so my grandma had to spill the beans. It was also a good example of the placebo effect.

Kisses of a Devil

My grandma told me that my freckles were angel kisses. They are not.

If It Works, It Works

When I got my car at 16, my dad told me that if I ever ran out of gas, the mechanic would have to reprogram my automobile's computer, and it would cost me over $1,000. I made sure to go on the tank at least 1/4 total of gas, because I didn't want to have to pay that coin to get information technology fixed.

Information technology probably kept me from getting stranded out in the middle of nowhere and was a pretty clever little story to tell, because I was already a penny pincher back then. Almost 20 years after I brought this story up to him, and my dad swore up and downwardly that he would never tell me a prevarication like that.

Too Unsafe to Live

We adopted a rescued racing greyhound when I was immature. He was lovely and very fast! Unfortunately, he had to be put downwardly quite before long after we got him. According to my parents, he had something wrong with his brain from running round the rails that constantly fabricated him dizzy.

I brought this up when I was in my belatedly teens, and they admitted that he actually attacked the neighbor's cat (racing greyhounds are trained to chase mechanical rabbits), so he was deemed also dangerous to live.

The Magical Truth

I was told my parents were in a car accident. I had to alive with my atrocious aunt and uncle until I was 11 years sometime when I was told that I was a sorcerer, and my parents had actually passed away after protecting me from Lord Voldemort.

Ho-Ho-Hit and Run

When I was actually young, my dad ran over our dog Bruno on Christmas Eve and told usa that Santa had run him over with his sleigh. Non sure how that was supposed to make things better. He could have just said Bruno was adopted as a reindeer or something.

Now That'southward Cold

My parents told me that when the ice foam van plays music, it means they accept run out of water ice cream.

A Disturbing Sense of Sense of humour

I grew upwards on a farm, and we had three rabbits that were my pets, which we kept in an enclosure outside. After having them for virtually a year (I was 5-half dozen years erstwhile), I go exterior one forenoon to find the cage torn open and fur everywhere. I was devastated, and my begetter insisted coyotes had gotten into the cage. Later that night, my parents had some friends over and had a potluck with the centerpiece being a stew. I ate some, ended up spitting information technology out, and promptly forgot about it.

When I was back home for Christmas a few years ago, my dad and I started discussing eating vermin as a meal, whereupon he asked if I remembered eating rabbit stew as a child. Come to find out, he broke the cage, shot the rabbits every bit they ran away, and spread the fur around to make it look less suspicious. Later, he made the stew and thought it hilarious that I was eating my pets later that night. My dad is a redneck with a sick sense of sense of humour.

Funeral for Junk

Our pet pot bellied pig was hit by a truck, and it shattered his pelvis. The vet put him downwards because there was cipher he could practise. My dad just told the vet to incinerate the pig. When he got home, my mom and us kids asked dad where the pig's body was and then we could bury him. He got a bunch of junk (food from the freezer and blankets and stuff) and stuffed them inside a large garbage bag. We then buried the garbage pocketbook. In that location was even a eulogy.

Problem Solved

When I was nearly 7 years old, I came home from school to detect my mother sitting on the couch waiting for me. She told me that my bird, Noel, had died that twenty-four hour period. I was so upset. A couple years agone she admitted to me that she had a sinus infection that twenty-four hour period and stayed domicile from piece of work. The bird wouldn't shut up, so she opened the bird's cage, prepare it on the dorsum porch and let my bird become free. She thinks it's funny. The bird was kind of abrasive, I guess.

The Best Dog in the World

When I was younger, my parents got me and my siblings a golden retriever. He was the all-time canis familiaris in the world in my 8-year-quondam eyes. 1 24-hour interval, he but started going #ii all over the house, and a few days later he "ran away" (co-ordinate to my parents). I stood outside in freezing cold conditions for hours, crying and yelling his proper noun for him to come up dwelling. Of course, he never returned.

A few years ago, on a hunch, I asked my mom if that's what really happened, and she told me, "No, Marshall ate a thermometer (the glass ones filled with mercury) off the counter and went crazy so we had to put him down." At that point I was former enough to sympathise that they did what they had to do, only they could've at least made me come up within and stop calling for him.

Holiday Trust Issues

My trust was irrevocably shaken the day I establish out Santa was simply an illusion used to dispense me with my ain greed. To brand it worse, my parents didn't come clean about it. They only kept going, doing more than elaborate things every year to convince me Santa was real. They still haven't had a talk with me most it, and I'm 30.

Not the Teddy Deport

I used to have this huge stuffed teddy bear. I slept with it every dark. My mom'southward boyfriend at the time was a truck driver, and they told me he took information technology along for a ride with him once to apply as a pillow. He didn't have it when he came home, and he told me that he had given it to a little homeless girl, and information technology had made her so happy. I had proudly told anybody at school about the story, and fifty-fifty had my teachers PRAY for the little girl (I was in a Catholic school). My mom was only sick of the thing, and they didn't desire me to be upset she had thrown it out. She told me years later when I happened to bring up the story.

Quick Thinking

My sister got a Budgie on her altogether when she was very young. On the first dark, information technology escaped from the cage, and our Bernese Mountain Dog ate it. My begetter woke up in the morning time, realized what happened, raced to the pet store at the mall, bought an identically colored budgie and put information technology in the muzzle.

My sister didn't learn about it until like 10-15 years later long after the bird had died. He had forgotten most it but brought information technology upwardly ane day.

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Source: https://www.smarter.com/fun/people-share-lies-they-realized-their-parents-told-them-as-kids?utm_content=params%3Ao%3D740011%26ad%3DdirN%26qo%3DserpIndex